nevvzealand:

i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around

(via insta-gramcracker)

i hate when applications are like “why do you want to work here”

because i need money

what do you want me to say omfg

I HAVE A PASSION FOR FROZEN YOGURT

(Source: bookercatch, via sherlawk-stahp-it)

thegleefulhouseelf:

kaliforniaa-dreamerr:

theamazingrigby:

sodamnrelatable:

do you ever just look at your homework like this

I look at people like this

I look at everything like this

I look like this

(via justtrolling)

psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.

(via justtrolling)

best-of-funny:

average-stalker:

0m:

You give me a boner
not a penis boner
but a boner in my heart
a heart on, an affection erection

i like you too… don’t make it weird

X

rattyburville:

merrymrdarcy:

so i called the nearby starbucks to see if they were open because my dad wasn’t sure and wanted me to ask so i asked them in gollum’s voice “HELLO IS PRECIOUS OPEN TODAY?”

and the guy on the other line replied with “YES PRECIOUS IS OPEN TODAY UNTIL 3 MY PRECIOUS YESSSSSSSS”

I FUCKING FLIPPED OUT AND I WAS LAUGHING AND SOBBING

AND THE GUY ON THE OTHER LINE ASKED “IS PRECIOUS OKAY”

I HOPE YOU MARRIED HIM

(Source: harryjasperkennedy, via misshayleycakes)

thealbinoweave:

do you ever have so much to do that you just decide not to do any of it

(via intentionofthetardis)